Blog for the Day:
|It seems on so many levels that there has been a major shift in the feminine over the past few years. I have male clients that want to date and go out with women in a serious and not scuzzy way. They are sincere and well-mannered. They are patient and not pushy. And over and over again, the women are not interested.
While I do not believe this is a reflection on the men or their intentions. I do believe it is a reflection on how horrible dating, mating, and marrying has been for so many women for decades.
They seem completely over it, uninterested, and just done. It shows an insight into the suffering and emotional trauma women have been experiencing over the years. The feminine can practically do everything on its own. It usually does not need a man but wants a relationship.
But now, even that is too much of a struggle and hassle.
So men, you have to really wake up and see that these women are in a form of PTSD around relationships. They are tired of the aggressive manners, dogmatic opinions, rigidity, control, demanding behaviors, and laziness.
Why would they even consider a relationship if that is even subtly the case?
I believe that when the draft ended, it destroyed one of the major ways that men learned to grow up and take responsibility for their actions. Boot camp taught them to make their bed, clean their clothes, keep things tidy, and to have confidence in their masculine.
Then they had something to offer a women. Now, so many men have not been given tools to allow them to grow up and so women have been dealing with men in boys bodies and doing too much, exhausting themselves, and finally just giving up.
Women want partnership. Again they can do it all themselves, so do you know what you offer in a relationship?
And money is not enough. There needs to be care and time given to nurture a woman into feeling safe. And that seems to be the crux of it. Women don’t feel safe. They feel put upon, unreasonable demands are required, criticism is too often given for small things, and they feel they get no help. The women are expected to feel sexy when they are exhausted.
“I put in a reminder here that men can produce sex hormones and stress hormones at the same time. Men can go to war and protect and defend and then (pardon the horror) rape and pillage. But women either produce sex hormones or stress hormones. So if a woman is under stress then she feels NOTHING sexually.”
Safety is crucial to the feminine opening into sexual energy. So when sex dies in a relationship, one reason for that could be that the woman is not feeling safe.
Now, she can also be harboring so much toxic stress from other relationships that even if a man is doing his best, that best might not be good enough to break her out of the toxic stress pattern that she is living under.
As women go into menopause, there are big chemical, hormonal, and energy shifts. Most women notice it and they can tell that they just can’t do what they used to do. Then when men expect a women to do the things she did in her 20’s and 30’s, most women just give up.
Remember to consider each other deeply.
Remember that aging is a real thing regardless of the stupid commercials that you see on television.
Everyone is g0ing to die.
Everyone is going to have to learn to cope with less energy.
And everyone needs to remember that where there is real love, there is also acceptance and compassion to the journey of aging and dying. Recognize that most older women have been pushed and demanded to be something that a man expects from her based on the television. But there is a real, breathing, feeling, hurt, scared women in your life that needs much more than you have been offering. And if she finally manages to escape the prison of the old model of relationships, she may never want to go back. Especially if she has her money stuff handled and figured out. When I speak to women they say they just want peace. They do not want the incessant demands that some men place on them. They would rather be alone, go out with their friends, go to the art events that interest them with their girlfriends, and not have to have some man demand their accountability for just needing to have fun.
Now I know great men are out there. I know that because I have one and I know many. But many women feel traumatized and are having a hard time trusting and opening back up because of past trauma.
This makes me so sad. I believe in relationships. I know that we need each other. And I know that learning to feel safe with another human being is a blissful expression of deep and true love.
P.S. I believe that within each person is a masculine and feminine. I believe that love is love and that all forms are essential to a balanced world. This statement is directed at not just heterosexual couples because everyone needs to find that safety in love relationships.