Yes, some things have happened!
Yes, some of you have wondered what happened to the Daily Numerology and Astrology. Well I ended up in the hospital with a burst appendix. Thank god for the help of Melanie Lake with her herbal suggestions before I knew what was up. Thank god for Dr. Lin Bin and Robert Young at the Center for Enhanced Wellness that had it pinned down to probably appendicitis that was that not presenting normally and gave me the final red flag symptom to know that I should go to the emergency room.
Blessings to Dr. Mitchell at St Marks Hospital for leaping into the fray and discovering that I had not only a burst appendix from about a week ago but that my body had tried to save my life by wrapping my colon around it like a snake and trying to strangulate it. Thus containing the worst toxic rush possible. Dr. Mitchell said my appendix was dead, necrotic, and a terrible color of black and green. One of the worst he had seen.
I am finally home at my friends home in Olympus and my husband is flying in shortly. Of course he had his big final interview with a company that is doing a 150 megawatt system, the day I went into the hospital. Interesting how these things go. And he is on his way here.
So the good news is that I am fine and that my body clearly loves me a lot. The bad news is that I am moving a bit slowly.
I am taking off this next week to recover. I may start back to work in Utah before then but I am giving myself the time to regroup. Thanks for listening and understanding.
I am slowly mending. Slower than I would want but clearly what is needed. I guess after almost dying I get to take a pause. I appreciate the support and understanding as my schedule is crossed off for the next week. I will start back when it seems appropriate.
Death’s Dance With Life
How many times I have danced with death?
It is almost as if he is a bit obsessed.
He longs to touch the light and love.
He longs to quench his thirst for the above.
As a child he would just sit and stare.
From across the room or up the stair.
Watching and waiting to see what might come.
Wanting something, as if for me to run.
And run I did as the rainbows crossed the sky.
I reached up to touch the colors and to learn to fly.
He would run alongside and at times I might catch a smile.
But it would be brief as in life, death was a serious denial.
Most people don’t know how to live.
They lead the wildness inside, to fear and dread.
You cannot live, if you are afraid to die.
You cannot fly, if you will never even try.
Failure is life’s biggest fear.
But how can you fail if freedom is near?
But freedom does not give you what you want.
Freedom does give you a moment, when you want not.
I remember the day my head seemed to explode
The blood ran from my ears in an ease of the pain mode.
I remember the rock the boy threw at my head.
But I felt blood pour out of my face instead.
I remember the day the cougar came too near,
On the trail in the Colorado Mountains and tiers.
That cougar watched me watching him.
I was not scared, because death was my best friend.
When you are a child, it all seems so clear.
Fear is always a friend that is forever near.
You are a light in a darkened place
Many things want to take that grace.
I remember the bear sniffing right at my head.
I saw my father’s eyes and hand say to be still instead.
I remember the man that tried to take me away.
From the playground bathroom that day.
I remember walking alone at night in New York
While watching eyes trailed me back and forth.
I remember the men so lost and confused
Looking for love and someone to use.
I remember the ledge and how I waited for
The peace and calm from a decision I abhorred.
I remember the nights walking in Berlin
When walls were still up and streets filled with sin.
I remember the jungle and that moment at night
When guns were at my head and the men smelled of fight.
I remember that night when the ghosts came on that stage
Because it was next to a graveyard even blessed with sage.
I remember the flight trying to get back home.
And the military takeover that would not let me alone.
I remember the pneumonia that took 3 weeks from my life.
As I danced strongly between another world and this life.
I remember the moments not wanting to keep going through
Not knowing what to do with the Chronic Fatigue shrew.
I remember the shows when I was so desperately sick,
But it was Nutcracker and no one could skip.
There were the days in Peru that lasted so long.
Where death was in every rock, statue, and song.
Then the lightning struck my room,
Collapsing the ceiling in one great boom.
Throwing me to the floor as the lights when out.
And the shaman smiling, knowing what it was all about.
You cannot live if you are afraid to die
You cannot transcend if you are afraid to fly.
Your days will pass and too soon enough.
But did you risk all the right stuff?
It is not about being right; it is about discovering where you are wrong.
Right feeds the ego. The other your personal song.
Each experience is recorded in time.
Each moments choices define your rhyme.
Where you go today is probably as far as you will go.
Unless you learn to trust death to lead your show.
There is so much more than you can possibly see.
When you step to deaths door from a place that is carefree.
Allow its innocence to give you grace.
That is what will make you not fall in deaths chase.
What can I tell you this has been happening throughout time.
Again and again, you fear the sublime.
Let it slip into the cracks of your clothes.
Let it grease those fingers that enclose.